Active listening is almost a lost art in this modern age.

With so many distractions at our fingertips it’s all too tempting to jump from one thing to the next and be completely unaware of our surroundings or remain respectful toward the feelings of others.

Active listening requires you to stay present. To stop your wandering mind from drifting off to your 'to-do' list when someone is trying to share something important with you. Likewise, getting distracted by your phone on the table or looking out the window while someone is talking to you, isn’t going to instil confidence that you’re paying attention, let alone following along to their story.

Active listening involves more than merely hearing spoken words.

Attentive, focused listening requires presence and a genuine interest in the person or conversation topic. It requires a connection with the entire conveyed message: observing body language, hand gestures and eye movements, as well as noticing shifts in the tone of voice, pitch and volume.

These aspects cover the subtle nuances between two nervous systems unconsciously scanning for safety or threat in the presence of the other.

If you're a coach, therapist or practitioner, you'll already be flexing your active listening skills and co-creating safety with your clients. You'll also value this importance to the therapeutic change process. And of course, even skilled professionals need a refresher from time to time so we can avoid falling into bad habits.

But even if you're not a helping professional or simply want to become a better listener to strengthen communication with your friends, family or co-workers, then these seven active listening techniques - taken from our holistic life coaching tools - can certainly support you.

Express Engagement: Keep eye contact, nod intermittently, and utilise your facial cues to show that you are wholly engaged and receptive. Prompt the client to proceed with brief verbal affirmations such as "I understand," "Hmm, okay," and "Please continue."

Seek Understanding: Provide feedback to mirror and elucidate your interpretation of what has been communicated. Phrases like "It appears that you're suggesting…" or "What I'm hearing / understanding here is…" can aid in ensuring you capture their viewpoint precisely.

Stop Interrupting: Allow the client to fully articulate their thoughts before you respond. Interrupting can derail their train of thought, disrupt their coherence, and inhibit your ability to fully comprehend their message. It also reduces the likelihood of escalating into a misunderstanding or a break in rapport.

Nurture Empathy: Strive to empathise with the client's perspective, even if it deviates from yours. This understanding can aid you to respond with enhanced compassion and acceptance.

Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of settling for binary yes/no questions, pose open-ended questions that encourage the client to delve deeper into their thoughts and emotions. These types of enquiries provoke deeper awareness and internal processing.

Recap and Summarise (aka reflection): After the client presents a point, pause to rephrase their statement to confirm your comprehension. This affirms your understanding and signifies to the client that you are tuned into their dialogue. Try using phrases like, "So, to ensure I've got it right, you're expressing that…"

React Appropriately: Active listening is a reciprocal interaction between individuals. Respond in a manner that acknowledges and respects the client's perspective, even if it conflicts with your own.